When to Proofread -- Always!

When I was graduating from high school, years ago, I was writing hurriedly through several of my friends yearbooks.  One of my friends got hers back and burst out laughing.  I looked at her puzzled as I didn't think I'd written anything terribly funny.  She pointed, "Never remember?  Okay, I'll make sure to never remember the good times.  After all, we've only known each other since elementary school."  I had been switching between "Never forget" and "Always remember" when I came up with that gem.  I was not happy with myself and horrified that she refused to give me her yearbook back to correct it.

Several years later, keeping touch only off and on, we made a date for lunch.  Surely enough time, marriage, and kids, had passed that all was really forgotten.  She greeted me with a hug and a smile and said, "You know, I always never remember the time . . ."

The lesson being, since high school I have always proofread everything I write (or at least try).  Which is a good thing, since I'm a writer.

Which brings me to yesterday and why I'm writing this story.

I have a very lengthy novel that I've written that I was working on, mainly copying and pasting but also tightening it up.  It deals with a serial killer.  Needing a break I checked my emails, Facebook and googled a few things of interest when I came across a company looking for stories of inspiration.  I read through what was required and thought of a few things that had happened in my life that fell under those guidelines.  I decided I'd let those ideas percolate for a few days, pick one and then . . . wait, what?  The deadline is today?  This had been out there for nearly a year and I was just now discovering it?

Abandoning my book I immediately started writing my heartfelt, inspirational story.   I edited, and edited, left it alone, came back and edited.  This went on from late afternoon when I had found this write up to close to midnight when I needed it sent out.

Realizing that I can edit until Doomsday (my other sci-fi book that I'm also working on) I decide to either send it or forget it.  I fill out all the necessary information.  I copy and paste in the little box provided, my cursor is hovering over the "Submit" button when my eye happens to light on one word: killer.

Okay, I have written a true story about my children and although they have been trying at times I know I didn't write anything like that!  Plus, I have proofread this article three times!  What on earth?  I lean in closer.  What has pasted onto the page is a small section of my serial killer story!  The part where the serial killer is giving his thoughts and ideas and why he does what he does.  Nothing of my inspirational-feel-good story!

I have visions of the police banging on my door in the middle of the night and hauling me away.  I see this national big name publishing house never wanting to hear from me again no matter how much I try to explain myself.  Such inspiration lady. Sure, it was the computer's fault.

Then today, out of the blue, I receive a card.  A snail mail card no less from a friend that I haven't seen in years although we keep in touch on Facebook.  She wants to let me know she now knows how to forge a painting and she'll be happy to send me this information whenever I need it.  You'll note she did not send this electronically.

"Honest officer!  She meant for my book!  Information for a book I'm writing!"

"In the guise of a Christmas card at the end of January?  Really?"

Yes.  I want to never remember this day again.